


Thanks Harry. For Everything.

by soft_bucky



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cuddles, Fluff, Gen, Harry Styles - Freeform, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, Mention of smut, Minor Liam, Minor Niall, Minor Zayn, One Shot, Original Male Character - Freeform, Other, Transgender, Transphobia, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-11 19:16:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soft_bucky/pseuds/soft_bucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a prompt at kink meme. The gist: All the boys know that Louis is a FTM; completely pre-op; he'll get the surgery eventually. He's been with his boyfriend for three years. But he often makes rude comments like "My girl." and "You'd be so pretty as a girl." It starts to get to him more than usual and makes him doubt himself. Harry figures out that Grant is the problem and helps Louis through this rough patch and tells him he needs to break up with him for his sake. </p><p>If Louis could pick one of his four best friends as his rock and go to guy, he'd pick Harry.</p><p>(Or where Louis is a female to male transgender [the public not knowing], in One Direction, and has a dick of a boyfriend. Harry is there with comfort and cuddles and advice.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thanks Harry. For Everything.

**Author's Note:**

> I like this one shot a lot and some of it is angsty but also fluffy. Sorry for mistakes; only minorly edited.

Louis remembers the time he came out to the band.

“So lads. I have something to tell you.” He begins and leans forwards to set his beer on the coffee table.

Zayn presses a remote on the t.v. remote to mute the sound and they all turn their heads towards the oldest member.

“I don’t know how to phrase this any differently. I was designated a female at birth.” He huffs and scans their faces for their reactions. No one looked angry or disgusted or blank faced; so he took that as a good sign.

He’s known that he didn’t feel right in his skin since third grade, found out what it was in fourth, and came out as transgender in sixth.

+

“Mum. I have a question.” Johanna’s eldest of three daughters walks over to her and tugs on her pants leg.

Jay lifts her up and sets her on her lap.

“And what’s your question darling?”

“What if you don’t, like feel right?” She asks biting her lip, trying to get the phrase out in what sounded like a well thought out sentence.

“Oh. Do you have a fever? Is your tummy hurting?” Jay lays a hand over her forehead to which she scrunches up her whole face at and lightly pushes her hand away.

“No.” She whines. “I don’t feel girly. I prefer being with the guys and playing with them and dressing in my jeans instead of the stupid dresses you say I have to wear sometimes. I don’t get it. Is something wrong with me?” She looks genuinely confused and rests her head on her mum’s chest as she soothingly runs a hand through the soft brown hair.

“Ah. It might be something you’ll grow out of. Or something that is genuinely you that you don’t entirely understand yet. If it’s how you truly feel then it’s something called transgender. There isn’t anything wrong with you boo. Don’t worry.”

“Mum. I don’t get it.” She whines slightly and looks up at her mum for explanation.

~o~

“Okay.” Zayn shrugs and takes a sip from the cool bottle of beer in his possession.

“You’re all cool with this?” He bites his lip. Anytime you tell someone something like this, there’s always worry that the people who matter most to you will reject you coursing through your veins.

“You’re still Lou. ‘Cept you’re a bit different internally is all.” Liam smiles reassuringly.

“Do you still have yer girly bits?” Niall asks crudely. Harry slaps him hard on the back of the head which earns a loud “Ow!” from the recipient. Louis knows he’s just curious so he doesn’t take it to heart.

“Yeah. But I wear something to keep this-” He makes a generalized gesture around his chest with a wave of his hand. “down.” He hasn’t had surgery yet because he couldn’t afford it before X-Factor and doesn’t really have the time now after X-Factor. He’ll get it eventually; just not for a while.

“And I take hormone supplements.”

“Alright then.”

And that’s the end of it. If it’s possible, he loves his friends way more now.

~o~

They meet Grant for the first time soon after the second album comes out. Grant has time off from college and Louis is no longer recording (at the moment) and wanted him to meet the boys, so he came up.

He and Grant have been together for three years and Louis loves him. All the boys notice in how Louis stands on his toes with his arms around the taller man’s neck as he leans upwards for a kiss that he smiles into as Grant’s hands grip his waist tightly.

Niall shouts out (remarkably loud by the way) “Awww.”

Without pulling away, Louis flips Niall off and the four other boys head inside to give them their moment of privacy outside. Liam pops some popcorn in the stovetop popper that Harry insisted on. After trying it at Grimmy’s house once, he said when they’re all together microwave popcorn is forbidden.

A movie is already in the DVD player and three out of four boys are sat around the living room when Louis comes back inside with a small hand in his boyfriend’s and slightly swollen lips. The pair sit on the couch, Harry prances into the room, and Niall presses play on the remote.

Louis gets up really quick during the middle of the movie to grab himself and Grant a drink. Even through the sounds of _The Avengers,_ Harry and Zayn could hear the “Thank you” and “That’s my girl.” from Grant.

The curt nod from Louis and the frown on his face could be seen by anyone in the room. They wait until Grant’s gone to say anything.

“You okay Lou?” Zayn asks him with Niall and Liam out of hearing range.

He smiles with a tight upturn of his lips and nods. “Yeah. He does shit like that. ‘M alright.”

Grant really did do stuff like that. Saying “My girl.” Or “You’d look so pretty as a girl.” And just comments like those. Louis has grown used to it by now.

Harry and Zayn can tell it wasn’t sincere and he was actually bothered by the comment but didn’t say anything about it.

~o~

Neither Grant nor Louis has the available time to see each other for two more months. Right before the beginning of the U.S. tour, they have a very short break. When he finds out about the small time off, Louis phones Grant who makes the time to come up and see him.

When Louis walks downstairs to the knock at the door, Grant is on the doorstep. After last time when things were relaxed between all the boys, what both want now is a sense of intimacy. Things get heated between the two and they go upstairs.

While inside him; not in his vagina cause that doesn’t feel right to _him_ , Grant says "Well you really are a cunt when things get heated, aren't you?" and worst of all snakes a hand up Louis’ side and up to grasp one of his breasts "Why do you have to keep lying to yourself?"

Things are no longer a turn on and Louis doesn’t reach his climax like Grant does as he cums inside the latex condom. He pulls out and Louis mumbles “I have an early start tomorrow. Rehearsal and all that. You can go.”

Grant does just that. Gathering up his clothes and leaving with a bye to Louis. He sighs and turns his head into the pillow to stop the barrage of tears that he starts to feel fall.

~o~

Louis has always been a person who was comfortable with their identity. Once he got over that awkward hump of un-sureness and unclarity and trial and error, he was completely fine with who he was and with presenting himself as a guy.

But because of Grant’s slowly building comments, that sureness and confidence about himself is starting to fade. Staring in the mirror begins to feel the same as it did when he was younger and confused. When a girl was staring back at him in his reflection and everything is beginning to feel all muddled up and wrong.

Not like usual where he would get up and get dressed and do his hair, etc. It’s like an alternate universe Louis is looking back at him. Except there isn’t stubble or short brown hair with the messy fringe and tattoos and biceps and guy’s underwear cause there’s girl clothes and makeup and longer hair and cleavage; nothing he wants or is. And it’s bothering him.

He bites his lip which was a nervous habit and pokes at his chest, looks in the mirror with the binder and shirt on, looks in the mirror without; and now he’s not so sure anymore.

Which is why when they get back on tour; in the beginning of the US leg actually (the break was the short time period before they went onto the US from Europe) he shows up at Harry’s bunk.

Harry looks up to see Louis in a baggy old t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts with Teddy in his hand, worrying his lip like he does when he’s nervous or worried or scared; something along those lines and looking at him with blue eyes filled with distress.

Teddy was his stuffed pale blue rabbit that he’s had since he was seven and brought with him whenever he wasn’t feeling happy or was a large distance away from home. Especially tour. That and Forktrot the dog are the only stuffed animals he has left since he’s grown out of them. But he’s never getting rid of those two.

Harry pats the side of the bed next to him and without a word, Louis climbs into bed with him.

“Lou. What’s wrong?” Harry asks softly, wrapping his arms around his waist.

For a while the man doesn’t say anything. The quietly, almost inaudible by Harry, he asks “Would you guys kick me out of the band if I started presenting as a girl again?”

Harry is surprised because out of everyone he knew, Louis was one of the few people that he knew was as sure of themselves as he’d been. But apparently that’s changed.

“Lou. Turn over.” Harry commands quietly. His back was facing Harry and had his arms crossed over Teddy holding him tight over his chest.

He turns over so his face is facing Harry’s and looks into the green eyes.

“What brought this on? Ever since you’ve been around us and way before then, you’ve been a guy. It’s not like we would kick you out of the band cause we love you no matter what, but why are you asking?” Harry doesn’t add the “I would love you no matter what.” to the end of that sentence.

“It’s just I mean- I think Grant wants me to be a girl more than Louis and everything’s all confusing now and I don’t really know much anymore.” He sniffles.

Harry hugs him close and can feel the curve of his breasts against his chest since you shouldn’t wear a binder 24/7 due to the definite health risks, but that doesn’t even matter because Louis’ a guy and always has been and always will be.

“Answer this question with the first thing in mind, alright?” Harry asks.

Louis nods and Harry continues.

“Do you want to be Julie or Elizabeth or Lizzie or Brooke or whatever your name was Tomlinson? Or do you want to be Louis Tomlinson?”

“Louis.” He mutters into Harry’s shoulder.

“So that’s it. You’re Louis.”

“Alright. Thanks Haz.” He sighs.

Harry pecks his forehead. “No problem. Now go to sleep Lou.” He whispers.

Harry quickly figures out that the boyfriend is the problem and decides he’ll wait until tomorrow morning to talk to Louis about him and Grant.

~o~

“Morning.” Harry says softly when he feels Louis stir next to him.

“Mrm.” He grumbles face down into the pillow.

Harry just lies still, until Louis opens his eyes at Harry.

“Morning.” Louis finally says back.

“So we should talk.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Louis mumbles with a blush gracing his cheeks.

“Nothing to be sorry about. But last night isn’t what I was talking about. Well a little. It’s about you and Grant.”

“What about?” Louis avoids Harry’s eyes and absently pulls at the matted fur on the stuffed animal.

Harry cups his chin and tilts upwards so he’s looking at Harry.

“You need to end your relationship Louis.” He says gently.

“But-he’s. We’ve been together for so long. And I really like-love him.”

“Louis. He made you doubt who you are. That shouldn’t happen no matter who they are. You said he makes comments like that often. Someone who loves you would do that.”

“But he does love me.” He says weakly.

“Does he really? Or does he like the girl you?” Harry asks.

“Harry-”

“No Louis. You need to hear this. Grant, maybe he was in love with you and all but I don’t think he is to be honest. Not now at least. Maybe he likes your personality, maybe he likes the girl you, but honestly; I don’t think he really likes the idea of being with a guy. Or a tr-”

“Don’t. Do not say it.” Louis says defensively, cutting Harry off.

He climbs out of the bed with Teddy in hand and walks away. Harry can’t help but think that he’s messed things up. But when he finally climbs out of bed in his boxers to the smell of breakfast, all the boys are at the table, dressed for the day with Liam cooking the food. Harry is the only one not dressed yet.

“Everyone excited for the show tonight?” Louis asks to interrupt the silence. Harry looks up at the sound of his voice and when he shoots Harry a weak smile, that’s how Harry knows things between them are okay.

~o~

Harry parts the curtain to Louis’ bunk when he hears a quiet sniffle.

He knows how Louis likes to be comforted, so he climbs in , wraps one arm around his torso to become the big spoon and runs his fingers through his hair in a calming way that Lou told him his mum would do to him and his sisters when they were upset and waits for him to talk.

“I did it.” Louis mutters.

“What?”

“Broke up with Grant.” He responds.

“Good Lou.” Harry smiles and gently kisses the skin in the crook of his neck.

“Not good.” Louis exhales shakily and turns over into Harry’s touch and nuzzle his face into Harry’s neck. He’s a cuddler.

“He didn’t even sound that broken up about it. And I guess you were right about things, but I hate that. I guess he was my first real relationship. I mean I had one of those silly primary school ones with this guy Drew when I was Ellie; but that doesn’t really count and is beside the point. He wants a girl and I’m not one.” He sighs.

“I’m glad. I mean for the fact that things worked out.”

Louis nod in response; already entangled with Harry.

“Would you mind if I kissed you sometime soon?” Harry whispers.

“I would. But definitely sometime soon.”

“That’s good enough for me. Night Lou.” Harry kisses his forehead like usual.

“Night Harry. Thanks; for everything.”


End file.
